


Different Kind of Love

by TheMarvelWinchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angry Castiel (Supernatural), Angst, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dancing, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Bar, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing in the Rain, M/M, Post-Season/Series 14, Pre-Season/Series 15, but only for like a second
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 18:50:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21184277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMarvelWinchester/pseuds/TheMarvelWinchester
Summary: Dean needed to get out of here. He needed to get out of this town, needed air, needed space. A distraction. This hunt was destined to bite them in the ass the second they got into Baby to drive to Springtown, Texas, where people just started dying at random.  This was supposed to be a simple milk run to stretch their legs a bit before going back to fighting God Himself.Dean could still feel the little girl’s blood on his hands, as he held her in his arm, knowing there was nothing he could do. If they only had come sooner. If they just- he had to get away. Get some booze and forget everything that happened. Even just for a little while. He needed… someone to take care of him. Someone to make him forget all of this, even if it was just for one night.





	Different Kind of Love

**Author's Note:**

> Actually wrote this like a month ago, after having my own experiences in a night club and decided to write out my own fantasies in form of a fanfic *we probably shouldn't psycho-analize that*  
Also planned an alternative, smutty ending (as in my last fic), but my inspiration kind of failed me on that one so, mehh maybe another time.  
So i kind of had this one laying around not really planing on doing anything with it, but after this week's episode I thought we all needed some kind of uplift. Don't get me wrong, there's still SO MUCH ANGST! But like... with a happy ending *looking at you, spn writers*
> 
> So anyway, enjoy!  
P.S: Sry for any typos, I was too lazy to read through this more than once;)

Dean needed to get out of here. He needed to get out of this town, needed air, needed space. A distraction. This hunt was destined to bite them in the ass the second they got into Baby to drive to Springtown, Texas, where people just started dying at random. First, it wasn’t just one rogue werewolf, but a whole pack of them. Of course Sam and Dean hadn’t called for any backup. This was supposed to be a simple milk run to stretch their legs a bit before going back to fighting God Himself.

They were able to take them all out, but not before they killed their victims. Dean could still feel the little girl’s blood on his hands, as he held her in his arm, knowing there was nothing he could do. If they only had come sooner. If they had Cas with them. Or anyone really. If they just- he had to get away. Get some booze and forget everything that happened. Even just for a little while. Tomorrow the girl would just be one more person to add to the long list of people he had failed. But he couldn’t handle it tonight. He needed… someone to take care of him. Someone to make him forget all of this, even if it was just for one night.

So that’s how he ended up in a gay bar in Dallas. Dean had come to terms with his sexuality a while ago, but he never really acted on it until now. Not with another man anyway. Of course he had some fantasies here and there, whenever he enjoyed his alone time, a certain set of blue eyes to make him feel like he was something to care about. Something to love. But he never acted on those feelings or actively searched for male company during his nights out. But that would change tonight. He needed something his usual female hookup wouldn’t be able to give him. So he hoped to find it in a man.

Dean sat at the bar, sipping his second whiskey of the night. Even though the alcohol helped him take the edge of, the hunter couldn’t help but begin to over-think his plan. What if he wouldn’t be able to find someone to give him what he needed? He knew he was a fairly attractive man and knew how to use his charms on women, but what the hell was he supposed to do with men? Sure, he had flirted with a few during their hunts, but he never thought about pursuing anything with it. He looked around.   
There were a lot of good-looking guys and he smiled at some of them when they looked his way, but none of them appeared to be searching for company right now. He almost gave up and already wanted to down his drink to continue his search elsewhere, maybe within waters he knew how to sail in. To have any kind of intimacy with someone tonight, when someone took the seat right beside him.  
“This seat taken?”, a very soft and comfortable voice said next to him. He looked up at the stranger. The man had soft gray eyes that had a green sparkle in the warm light of the bar. His lips were formed into a small smile, still waiting for an answer.  
“Now it is.” Dean smiled at the man. The man grinned back and seemed to take a better look at Dean. Then he turned to the bartender.  
“Two more of what this handsome lad is having.” The bartender nodded and went to prepare their drinks while Dean got to check out the man beside him. His hair was a bit longer - but not as long as Sammy’s though - and had a golden shine to it. He had a nice sharp jaw with days worth of stubble and a strong body that could maybe outmatch Dean’s in height. Not exactly the person he truly wanted, but maybe he could be what Dean needed tonight.  
When the bartender came back the man smiled in thanks and pushed one of the glasses in Dean’s direction. Then he raised his own.  
“To a hopefully delightful evening.” He said still smiling softly at the hunter. Dean raised his own and they both took a sip.  
“My name’s Alexander. What’s yours, dear?”  
“Dean. Dean Winchester.”   
“Well, Dean Winchester, I can’t say I’ve ever seen you here, trust me I would remember. So, what brings you here?”   
Dean grimaced.  
“Work, mostly,” he said. “I’m just searching for some relief really.” He blushed a bit at his wording. Alexander smiled.  
“That should be something we could help with, don’t you think?” Dean could hear the confidence in his voice. He couldn’t help comparing him to a certain black-haired angel, but after a moment he caught himself and pushed the thoughts far back. He tried to match up his own confidence and smirked at the man.  
“I certainly hope so.”

They chatted a bit about unimportant things while sipping their drinks. There was also a bit of flirting going on. Dean felt pretty comfortable, so when Alexander asked if he wanted to dance, he just downed the rest of his whiskey and nodded. The gold haired man lead him to the main dance floor where the music was way louder then before at the bar.

At first they kind of danced at a safe distance from each other, but both the other people around them, and Dean’s need to forget the memories that started to come back to him, made them move closer to each other. Dean was a bit shy at first to do anything more than close the distance between them, so he turned half way ‘round which might have been a mistake. Well, actually it wasn’t a mistake at all, but Alexander saw that as his approval of getting things further, so he pressed his body softly against Dean’s back, holding his hips while they tried to still sway with the beat. For a short second Dean saw Castiel’s face in his mind, his blue eyes staring at him and he felt almost guilty for what he was doing. But then he shook his head. He needed this.

So he leaned into the other man’s touch and let his head rest against his shoulder as the hands on his hips began to move around his torso, mapping an undefined course around his body. He felt the tension between them, but it wasn’t hurried. It was comforting to feel the strong hands on him, like he was still worth being wanted. Being desired. They danced like that for a few minutes before Dean felt the hands on his hips still and Alexander’s face near his throat. The breath warmed his neck and the tension grew thicker within seconds.  
“Dean.” He heard the soft voice in his ear and let himself be turned around. They looked at each other a few moments before Alexander bowed his head down a bit to catch the hunter’s lips in a kiss. Dean happily reciprocated and put his own hands on the other man to explore the strong muscles in his shoulders, his back. Again, there were those blue eyes roaming through his mind and he got a frighteningly exciting idea. Maybe he could imagine those lips to be someone else’s, maybe those hands could be the ones of a certain angel. Maybe- oh fuck that felt even better. So he didn’t push his thoughts away. When Alexander swept his tongue across Dean’s lips, he imagined it were Cas to open him up, to explore his mouth and shit why did this feel so much better than just seconds before?  
He wound his hands into the hair of his partner and even though they were a bit too long, he imagined them being the black bed-head, Cas always seemed to be sporting. The hands around him tightened.

“Dean.” The angel’s voice sounded pained. Wait. Why could he hear his voice? He broke free of the kiss and there he was. Standing near the pair of them. Castiel had a sad expression on his face. He looked at Dean in the arms of the other man and then turned around to stumble through the mass of people. To get away from him.  
“Wait!” Dean shouted. “Excuse me”, he said to Alexander not even sparing him a look being too afraid of losing the angel in the crowd. He tried to run after him, but people got into his way and once he looked up again Cas was nowhere to be found.  
“Cas!” he shouted while pushing through the mass of bodies on the dance floor and then through those in front of the bar to get to the exit, where he saw a dark head disappear through the door. He ripped the door open and stepped out into the cold. It had started to rain and Dean looked around frantically to find the dark haired man. Cas was walking down the street hugging his arms tight around his own body, running from the rain. From Dean.  
“Cas, stop!” He screamed running after him, careful not to slip and break his neck. When he caught up to the angel he reached for his arm, wishing for him to stop, but Cas ripped his arm free and started walking faster.

“Castiel, please!”  
“What Dean?” Cas screamed back, turning around to face the hunter.  
“What do you want?” The blue eyes shone out from underneath the black hair that was plastered against his forehead.  
“Why don’t you go back inside, Dean? He seemed to be everything you wanted back there.” Cas voice dripped with anger and- pain. Dean took a step back.  
“That’s not- I- Cas, that’s not true.” Dean stared at him. The normally well composed face of the angel was red and his eyes shone with unshed tears. It ripped him apart, knowing that he probably put that look there. He never thought-  
“Then why Dean? Why did you do that?” Cas’s voice broke. And with it Dean’s heart. He gasped.  
“I mean, I could deal with it, when you went out to hook up with those women you met during hunts or nights out. I thought that was the one reason, I could never- But then you were- and I- why Dean? Why him? What can he give you?”

_That I can’t._ The unfinished question hung between them. The angel wound his arms tighter around himself. He wasn’t feeling the cold outside, but rather the cold, sharp pain inside his heart.  
“I needed- I couldn’t. Cas, you don’t understand I-” Dean stumbled over his words. How could he tell Cas about his pain, about everything he felt, that he just needed an out. That he needed _him_.   
“You what, Dean?” The angel almost spat out. Dean couldn’t hold it in anymore.  
“I needed someone to make me forget, okay?” He screamed. “I needed someone to hold me. I needed someone to just be there and want me, despite my mistakes, despite all of what I have done, okay?” He looked down and took a sharp breath.

“I could have done that.” He heard a small voice in front of him. When he looked up, Cas was looking straight at him with such a hurt, disappointed expression that he flinched.  
“Could you? After everything? After that hunt? I can’t do anything! I can’t protect anyone! That little girl, Jack… How can you even look at me? How would I possibly be worth anything more than that?” He turned away. He couldn’t stand looking into the piercing blue. His hands clenched at his side, he just let the rain fall down between them.  
“Dean. Look at me.” The angel’s voice grew softer as he stepped carefully towards him like he was a frightened animal, which Dean guessed he was.  
“Dean.” He looked up. Cas’s eyes were still full with emotion, but there was no anger anymore.  
“Sam told me what happened. It’s okay to feel bad about this. But you can’t blame yourself for everything. If it weren’t for you, a lot more people would have been hurt, a lot of people would have been killed. You can’t save everyone, every time.” Dean huffed and turned his face to the side, before looking at his friend.  
“Yeah, thanks Cas. You don’t think I already know that?”  
“But you try,” Cas interrupted him. “You try so hard to be perfect for everyone. For your brother, for the people you want to help. You try to make the world a better place for everyone around you. You try to take care of everyone, but sometimes you gotta let someone take care of you.” Dean stubbornly wiped away a few raindrops from his face.  
“What do you think I tried tonight?”  
Cas sighed.  
“I think- I think you tried to escape tonight. You didn’t want to be taken care of. Or at least not really. You just wanted an out. You wanted to forget your pain. But you need to let someone take care of you, who understands you. Who knows your story and loves you for who you are. Who sees your flaws and loves them, for they make you the person that you are.” Dean let out a small sound of pain.  
“Yeah? And who would do that? Who could possibly love someone like me that way?” He felt a hand at the side of his face, making him look at the angel. And what he saw made him melt. Cas’s eyes were soft and full of love that made him forget everything around them. It gave him hope at last.  
“Me.” The angel whispered and Dean’s knees felt weak. He closed his eyes as he leaned his forehead against Castiel’s.

“I’ve seen you at your best, Dean. I’ve seen you at your worst. I rebuilt your body and soul and I know every bit of it and there isn’t one that made me love you any less. You are not perfect, Dean. But you make this world a better place. And I will always be there for you. I will always take care of you. In whatever way you need me to.” Dean sniffed.  
“I love you, too.” He whispered as he looked into the other’s eyes before leaning in closer to softly press his lips against his angel’s. And oh did this feel even better than just imagining it.  
When they parted to get some air, Dean slightly smiled at dark-haired man in his arms.  
“Would it make you feel better, if I told you that I imagined it being you, back in the club?”  
“Oh, shut up!” Cas hid his face in Dean’s neck, but the hunter could feel the smile against his skin.   
Maybe all what he needed was right here with him after all.


End file.
